“Exhausted, Second Wind”

I have a fight I didn’t know I had and I know it is coming from a higher power. I didn’t understand how it is occurred, but it remained. I’m getting a lot of opportunities coming my way, but I’m still in a daze. It’s not that I’m not grateful, it’s that I’m not seeing, but I’m pushing. I don’t want this feeling to continue because I don’t want to take it out in my relationships and family. Am I in gunk? Am I trapped? What is this unfamiliar feeling?

I write in my journal every day about the events that are important to me. One reoccurring theme is the new ITF rules change. I don't want to get into the specifics of the change, but it affected many professional tennis players. It might not mean much to you, but it should. I'm just a young woman chasing her dreams in need of sound prayer. What is this unfamiliar feeling?

One of my favorite male tennis players of all time was in my face, while shortly after being a finalist at the Australian Open. I was walking on the same courts and grounds he walked on. However, even at that moment, I didn't notice it was him. I only saw him when someone showed me him. Can you imagine seeing one of your favorites and not recognizing them? Sure, I was playing my match, but still. I glimpse outside of the courts, I take breaks, but I didn't notice.

 Then I woke up from my heaviness and began to stand up for what's right. I did good deeds. I received many blessings. I started feeling great. I looked at this situation with new eyes.

 My motto for this tournament is to be fearless and have confidence. My job is to fight until the end and not give up.

 I started with a ranking of 575. Currently, I am ranked 544. My friend was able to come to Spain with me. It was her first international trip. She got a chance to see me play for the first time. In my matches, usually, I’m a bit nervous. I don’t know if I was just excited to get back out there or what, but I was not at all nervous. I didn’t put any pressure on myself. I just wanted to be fearless.

 Also after seeing Nadal passing by my match, I suddenly remembered what it was to be fearless. Courage is great, but I picked up Mr. Courage once I decided to play tennis. Mr. Fearlessness is whom I bumped into this year. Mr. Fearlessness allowed me to put my belief and hard work to practice to break records.

 After all, I walk by faith and not by sight.  I was, of course, a bit nervous but honored because his work ethic is magnificent to watch. My second wind kicked in. I’m doing my part and letting God do the rest. I know I’m closer to my destiny now more than ever before.